Life Beyond Tears

Aarambh 2019 was the night I realised the truth, as is being recited in one of the Nasheeds by Muhammad Al Muquit:

“The way of the tears is the way of comfort

Sigh my friend so you can rest

And make emotional supplications in private

The universe will encompass your voice...” (translated)

Since the time after my schooldays I had many times sunk in tears. I’ve experienced how it feels… the crumbling along the abdomen… the confusion dragging into nothingness, and all the speculated thoughts ending up in graving myself. I’ve often felt like I had dug my own grave and its time I should say a bye to all…

The fans in my room to hang myself, the Super-Max blade to cut my veins, the sedatives….

And now…

No!!

I want to LIVE!!

One of my friend, this night had proven me that life is beyond tears!! 

I’ve seen many around me crying. Pain is inevitable. But to show and to prove oneself requires a lot more than courage.

One of my friend surprised me quoting “the only thing in this materialistic world where one needs the utmost courage is TO COMMIT SUICIDE!! You have it all now! You proved yourself your courage! Then what else makes you leave this life? Why do you want to lose this life though not everyone, but someone awaits you… your talents... your life…?

YUP!!

And now it’s time…

I should traverse my own styles along those beautiful bright spectrums of the most charming fluorescent colours, where I shall appear the first and magnificent among all!

Most of us consider our own pain to be the weirdest one as if no one around us suffers and are happy. A few expresses their pain, while others not. This is where we fail. This is where I learned!

One moment in Aarambh 2019 turned ON the real sense from the Virtual emotions.

I had always considered myself to be in extreme suffering and always seek others attention for relief. This night made that correction.

I was elated with sweat due to vibrations set across the auditorium. As I wanted some air so that I could get back to bounce offstage during the next performance with more energy, I went outside and sat along the stairs. There she came with joy where happiness appeared on her cheeks and this sexy stupid girl with zero level tensions in the full swing of the event, breaking the floor offstage came and sat besides me. We both awaited the next dance performance to come on stage so that we could rebound to rejoice. She is a known character, who dares to put a smile inside anyone’s eyes which were filled with tears. She is also best known for her ever irritating character, which doesn’t put anyone into trouble but lets everyone to reschedule and think.

She sat beside me and asked, “what are you doing here man!!Just go and enjoy!!”

I replied, “this was the first time I had attended an event in MP Hall since the past two years I’d joined CUTN.”

She said, “you missed it man. You missed a lot!!”

And Yesss!! She was right!

The woofers set in the Auditorium for the previous year’s Aarambh still echoes in my ears and I still pound to have missed it sitting aloof in my hostel room. This marked a regret feel within me but I promised to myself to not to mess up missing the fun again. My friends came to call me back inside the hall and I wanted to go, so I turned to ask her whether we could get inside. By this time, she had already turned to one of her friend. I was stuck for a moment when she turned to me! Her eyes were flooded with tears and those royal black Kajal started to map its way along her cheeks. 

A moment STILL!!

I wanted to let her back into the mood. Hiding the question of why she had cried, I said “I should be lucky enough that I could see you at least once CRYING!”. That gave her a smile and I got to learn from her how to let others to not see your tears. We joined back the offstage troupe with mere weight of tears within us.

Though this lesson was already taught, I felt like I had failed all the examinations and even the arrears of the same Chapter. For a moment, this funny girl turned to be the practical session based on this particular Chapter. I realised that everyone around me suffers in one way or the other. It was not me the only person who wanted help but everyone around me, and that the one who helped themselves are the most remembered ones.

Let LIFE and PAIN be the two poles of Mystery where life never attracts but REPELS PAIN (physics student!).

Its time I wipe off my tears, splash some water onto my face, run to the top floor balcony of my hostel and laugh at this spherical cycling world. And write this article here!!